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If You Find Me: A Novel, by Emily Murdoch
Get Free Ebook If You Find Me: A Novel, by Emily Murdoch
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There are some things you can't leave behind…
In If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch, a broken-down camper hidden deep in a national forest is the only home fifteen year-old Carey can remember. The trees keep guard over her threadbare existence, with the one bright spot being Carey's younger sister, Jenessa, who depends on Carey for her very survival. All they have is each other, as their mentally ill mother comes and goes with greater frequency. Until that one fateful day their mother disappears for good, and two strangers arrive. Suddenly, the girls are taken from the woods and thrust into a bright and perplexing new world of high school, clothes and boys.
Now, Carey must face the truth of why her mother abducted her ten years ago, while haunted by a past that won't let her go… a dark past that hides many a secret, including the reason Jenessa hasn't spoken a word in over a year. Carey knows she must keep her sister close, and her secrets even closer, or risk watching her new life come crashing down.
- Sales Rank: #33663 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-03-26
- Released on: 2013-03-26
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
39 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
Beautifully written, poignant, and heartbreaking with a wonderful protagonist-- a Must Read!
By Christina (Ensconced in Lit)
I received this book from the Goodreads First Reads Program in exchange for an honest review.
If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch is a haunting read that will stay with you long after it's done. The novel stars Carey, a teenaged girl who has been living in an abandoned camper in the woods for years with her younger sister, Jenessa, who she has taken care of, while her druggie mother has been in and out of town and eventually, missing, for the past two months. The two girls get discovered by social services and Carey's father, whom she hasn't seen for a decade, and what happens next is a revelation, both for her and her new adoptive family.
I don't want to give away too much about the plot, because it is so wonderful to discover all of the intricacies as you read yourself. The characters are deftly drawn, beautifully written, and poignant. Carey, the protagonist, carries the piece, which is vitally important to the success of this novel. She is very likeable and sympathetic as a character. Her younger sister, Jenessa, is the perfect combination of sweet and loveable, and mystery, since we know there is a reason why she hasn't talked for years. The supportive cast of characters is also wonderful, including Carey's father, Melissa, their new stepmother, Delly, the jealous new stepsister, and Pixie, an odd, whimsical new friend for Carey. The prose is gorgeous, and the description spot on. The plot races along at a perfect pace, and I was gripped from start to finish. As you can tell, I was greatly impressed by this novel.
If I had anything less than positive to say about this novel, it has to do with the boy in this piece-- his part seems a little too easy, too perfect. But that's about all I can say about it-- it obviously didn't change my opinion about the book.
Overall, a compelling, heartbreaking, and beautifully written first novel-- Murdoch is an extremely talented writer, and I will be watching for her future work.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Beautifully and powerfully written...bring your tissues
By QueenKatieMae
If You Find Me is one of the most beautifully written and heartbreaking novels I have ever read. It is one of those books you hate to put down and you hate to finish because it gets under your skin and stays in your head. For days.
Carey, age fifteen, has been living in a broken down, cockroach-filled camper deep in the forest since her mother spirited her away from her abusive father ten years ago. Once a talented musician, her bipolar mother self-medicates with meth and will sell her body to get it. The result of her behavior leaves Carey with a little sister, Ness, who she has had to raise from birth, especially when the drug-addled mother will disappear for days, even weeks, at a time. Washing in the creek, eating what she can forage or shoot, wearing clothes that smells like cat pee, Carey and her sister have led a solitary life until the day two strangers find them. Carey's father and a social worker have been looking for them and have come to take the girls home.
Remembering very little but what her mother has told her, Carey is angry and fearful of her father. But she goes with him only to rescue her little sister from their life of hunger, abuse, and neglect. Ness has not spoken for the past year. Alluding to some unspeakable events that occurred on what Carey calls "the white star night"; Ness has been selectively mute, whispering short sentences only to Carey.
Her father brings them home to his loving wife and teenage stepdaughter, Delaney, where the girls begin the strange and wondrous, sometimes terrifying, process of re-entering civilization. Or, in Ness' case, entering it. She has never known running water, electricity, TV, or Christmas. Neither has been to school, but with Carey's motherly diligence in the woods, both learned to read and write and actually test higher than their age level. As a teenager, the adjustment to the modern world is harder for Carey, especially when she starts high school.
When she left the woods with her father, Carey brought more baggage than the few personal belongings she stuffed into a garbage bag. Carey brought secrets, painful and traumatic secrets. She knows what happened on "the white star night" and she knows why Ness does not speak anymore. But how can she tell the man she does not trust, and barely knows, what happened?
Narrated by Carey, the story is told in present time and with flashbacks. Her wiser-than-her-years perspective is compelling and heartbreaking. While the reader would expect Carey to hate her mother and despise her former living conditions, she convincingly displays feelings of sorrow and homesickness for the only life she has known. Dealing with high school, boys, and the resentful Delaney, is torment in itself, but now Carey is torn as she watches her formerly clinging little sister blossom and become attached to their new family. However, the almost daily emotional upheavals are almost insignificant compared to the day she must finally tell her father what happened on "the white star night".
It's a powerful experience watching this fiercely independent woman-child protect and raise her little sister, survive in the forest and navigate the intimidating civilized life. I highly recommend If You Find Me because the author has written a passionate story with memorable characters the reader will absolutely love. And I also highly recommend you bring your tissues because you will need them.
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
A truly touching read
By Jenni @ Alluring Reads
This review is probably going to be an incoherent jumble of feelings that I can't translate eloquently into words so there are some things I want to just throw at you in the beginning to make sure that I get my point across. This book. This book is everything that I want in a book; this book is about love and it is so full of heart that I found myself teary eyed pretty much once in every chapter. This book is full of amazing characters and amazing relationships; it is bleak, it is honest, and it is a novel that will definitely stick with me for a long time to come.
Carey and Janessa are girls who have grown up living in a camper in a national forest most of their lives. There they live with their mother, but not really because she is a meth addict who disappears for weeks (sometimes months) at a time leaving Carey in charge of feeding her younger sister & herself and in charge of bringing Janessa up. The way that these girls lived is terrible. They freeze in the winters and often find themselves eating nothing but beans for days, it was shocking to see all the things that they went through growing up. Not only do they live under harsh conditions but the people that their meth addict mother brought into their life and the things she made them do to feed her meth addiction are disgusting and had me so angry that addictions like this exist. The desperation of users to get their next fix is frightening and it puts everyone around them in danger as they are used as pawns. We get most of this part of the story through memories that Carey has throughout the novel, the real story here is when they are found and taken to live with Carey's father on his farm.
The transition to living in civilization is what really brings these characters to life for me. The bond that Carey and Janessa formed in their years of living in the wild and Carey essentially raising her younger sister is beautiful. Once they are found that bond remains and Nessa really looks to Carey for how to react and deal with everything that is going on. I loved Carey, my heart broke for her situation but she had such a big heart & her undying devotion to her younger sister made everything OK. Even in their dismal situation in the forest their relationship brought light to their life and really got them through it. Nessa was an adorable character and through her mutism we learn that something pretty bad happened that made her lose her voice. What really blew me away here was how Nessa felt like such a developed and well rounded character and for much of the novel the girl didn't even talk. I loved her and I wanted to cuddle her. We see through Carey how she can read everything about her younger sister without words and it's really beautiful. I also really liked Carey's father and his wife Melissa, the effort that they put into helping the girls is so great and you really just felt the love they had for them so much in every page of this novel.
There is no way that this review will ever do this book justice and I don't even want to think about how many times I used the word love in it but everything I think about this book is love. The characters, the relationships, just everything. There are some pretty shocking scenes, ones that are so hard to read but looking back on it love just conquers all and is what I took away from it. Read this book people, and have some tissues at the ready.
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